


Endless and Unrelenting

by z0mbieshake



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Amnesia, Dark, M/M, Mystery, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19905094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: In a fit of rage, Peter ravages Felix with a merciless assault, beating him till he bleeds, choking his breath from him for reasons that seemed so innocent. One week later. Felix awakens without any memory of this terrible event. Looming dread drives him to seek the truth.





	Endless and Unrelenting

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is overall a very dark fic with graphic violence. Please tread with caution

_Panic._ The flutter of a torn cloak. Branches rattling. Leaves slapping him as he ran. Stench of blood and dirt. No matter what he did, Felix could never get away. _How could he?_ Peter Pan was a god. He knew it was coming but he screamed anyway as a hand fisted into the back of his cloak and hurled him forward. His arms were scraped bloody as he tumbled forward, protecting his head but breaking two fingers as he collided with a tree. He gasped, scrambling forward, fighting through his blurred vision and bloody nose before a foot crushed him into the dirt.

“P-Please…” Felix coughed out, his cloak being yanked backwards, strangling the words out of him. Before he was even fully turned around, Felix was struck across the face, broken nose mangled even more, blood spurting onto the dirt, “Stop. Stop…Stop!” He mumbled, throwing his hands pointlessly in front of him, anything to make distance between himself and Peter. He might as well had done nothing at all, Peter’s assault unstoppable.

When Felix realized words couldn’t quell Peter’s hatred, he fell silent, sealing his blooded lips. Felix stayed limp on the ground, taking each hit, grunting in pain and sobbing as it prolonged. His swollen eyes drifted away, unable to meet the raging storm behind Peter’s, Neverland’s wrath pulsating behind them. He coughed out a clot of blood, the soothing escape of unconsciousness just barely caressing him. It took Felix a couple seconds to realize Peter had stopped. It wasn’t fun punishing someone who wouldn’t react.

 _How did it come to this?_ Felix choked on his breath, feeling Peter’s weight lift from his chest, heard his flesh squelching off his fists. His suffering suppressing his control, Felix choked on his breath before bursting into tears, saltwater washing away his blood, filling his wounds and burning them, but it felt just too _good_ to stop.

“P-Peter…” Felix wailed, his palms shaking as they came to his eyes, “Peter! _Peter_!” He felt like an idiot. _He was an idiot_. Crying for his assailant to save him, “Peter!” No one was coming. The silhouette of Peter in his reddened, blurry vision was gone. _But Felix was just so desperate_. He took a haggard breath, stuttering and choking, “ _Rufio_.”

The weight was back, the entirety of Neverland crushing his chest, forcing out the air and blood before wrapping around his neck. Felix sputtered till nothing came out, no sound, no air. He couldn’t hear anything but the violent drumming of his heart. His vision was crystal clear save for the red, Peter’s fury twisting his visage into something monstrous. Felix scrambled under him with strength he thought no longer existed, desperation kicking in, pain and suffering irrelevant.

His lips shaped his lover’s name, but nothing came out.

Through his pitch-black unconsciousness, the white-hot pain was what Felix focused on first. Like an anchor, Felix hoisted himself forward, washing himself in light. He snapped his eyes open, blinking twice, pursing his lips, and immediately finding himself drawn to the lit fireplace. He swallowed, sliding the furs down his body as he propped himself up, spotting the bookshelf, the desk, the fancy armchair perfectly perched by the fireplace. The familiar disarray, the organized mess, Felix knew where he was. This was Pan’s treehouse.

 _What time is it?_ The windows were sealed shut, an oddity from what Felix remember from Pan. He loved the open space, loved the forest air. Finding himself boxed in like this was unnatural. Pan wouldn’t do this. Felix pushed the furs aside, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and immediately reeling, pain lancing through his head once more. He groaned, crumpling back into the bed.

“You’re awake already?”

Felix gasped, surprised, spotting the silhouette in front of the fireplace, “P-Pan?”

A smile stretched across Pan’s tired face, face flushed in relief, “Yeah. It’s me,” He sighed in relief, sitting down on the bed, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Felix said, laying himself back down gently and testing his joints, “Just got a headache.”

“That’s good. You had a nasty accident,” Pan said, pulling the furs back over him, “I’ve been nursing you back to health,” He smoothed out the furs as he spoke, smiling as he traced Felix’s curves, brow twitching when he saw the slightest blush on Felix’s cheeks.

“Accident?” Felix said, catching the edge of bear fur when Peter tried to pull it back over, “It’s fine. I’m warm enough in here.”

Pan retracted, simply sitting closer to him, facing the fireplace, “Yeah. You took a nasty fall. Been out for almost a week,” Pan was kneading at the sheets beneath the furs. Felix’s gaze flickered down for just a moment. Pan was skittish, “How much do you remember?”

The pain flared up when Felix tried to reach into his mind but he fought through it, “Most things, I guess?”

“Can you go through a couple things? Just, whatever pops into your head,” Pan said, still watching the fire.

Felix shrugged, falling back into the sheets, rubbing absently at his neck, “Um, my name is Felix? I’m the Lost boy Leader? I live on Neverland. Um, the senior boys are Tootles, Nibs, Slightly, Curly. Do you want patrol paths too?” Felix said, prattling on about his patrols, his protocols, till Pan was sufficiently satisfied, “Do I pass your test?”

Peter snickered, turning to him with a toothy smile, “You do. You’re all better,” He reached forward, smirking, “You wouldn’t believe how incoherent you were. I was genuinely conc—” As his hand drifted close, _Felix flinched away_. Peter was still, eyes wide, _furious_ but serene, “W-What was that?”

It seemed so natural; Felix wasn’t aware at first what Peter meant, “I…oh,” He turned back, feeling his mind buzz and scream as Pan’s fingers brushed against him. He couldn’t help but tear away, “I’m sorry. Just, when you’re close, it hurts.”

“Ah,” Pan said, pulling away, looking away, distracting himself with the fireplace.

Washed over with guilt, Felix forced himself up, forced himself to touch Pan’s shoulder and coax his attention back with a massage despite the pins and needles in his fingers, “It’s not your fault,” He gasped when Pan took his wrist, a blunt and harsh pain shooting through his arm briefly before Pan guided his hand onto the bed, “Pan?”

“It’s okay. Just get some rest,” Peter said, smiling softly, sadly, as he guided him back down onto the bed, “I’ll be back with some food. We’ll try again. Alright?”

Felix wasn’t tired though and he felt fine otherwise. He nodded regardless, waiting for Pan to disappear from the treehouse in a puff of green smoke. The moment he could no longer feel his presence, the slight numbness in his chest finally lifting, Felix stood from bed and dressed himself with his clothes hanging on the armchair, strapping on his ragged dagger and slipping the smaller one into his boot.

Stumbling as he got his pants on, Felix reached for the doorknob, surprised when he grabbed it for balance and found it completely immobile. _Pan locked the door with magic?_ Felix backed off, grabbing at the window shutters, finding them just as unmovable as the door, “What the hell?” He whispered, increasingly perplexed.

Confused but not discouraged, Felix rushed to the armchair, shoving it to the side with all his strength. He was surprised at his own health. With the way Pan doted on him, he figured he’d be frail. Felix knelt on the floor, feeling the boards, prying off a loose board with notch upon it and revealing a spiraling path into the hollow of the tree. He laughed to himself; this was the secret path he built for Pan when they worked on the treehouse together, deciding to forgo magic so Felix could truly shine. He never did end up using it, but he did occasionally remember a couple possums making their way in while Pan was none the wiser.

Slipping out from his secret path, Felix snuck away from the treehouse and made his way to the camp. The landscape of Neverland was unchanged, the cicada still chirping despite the perpetual night, the air moist and hot. With the way Felix was barred in, he could’ve sworn the world had ended. His fears were dashed as he made it to the clearing by the cliffs, seeing the pinpricks of torches from the Lost Boy camp up ahead.

In the camp itself, the boys were at their usual routines: Playing games, crafting weapons, doing general handiwork in the camp itself. Things were mundane, plain, calming in a way Felix had never realized. He didn’t think being gone for an indiscriminate amount of time could make him so homesick.

“Felix!” Slightly shouted, slapping Felix firmly on the back, his thick accent surprisingly pleasant, “You’re back! You’ve been out for a week. I thought for sure you were dead.”

Curly rolled his eyes, walking by with a basket of coconuts, “He actually did. He put a bet on it with Pockets during their patrol.”

“Always the optimist,” Felix said, his usual deadpan tone coming back to him. He followed both boys to the campfire, sitting down on a nearby log, “What’s happened while I was gone?”

Curly shrugged, actively avoiding sitting next to Slightly who was determined to follow him around obnoxiously, “The usual. Boys kept to their patrols, maintaining the camp. There was a mermaid attack a couple days ago, but we were able to scare them back into the water. A bit rough though, missing two senior Lost Boys.”

“Ah, right. How’s Rufio doing?” Slightly said, huffing as he was relocated to the log across from Curly. The crass boy flushed suddenly, lips curled, stuttering as Curly glared at him, “Oh, shit. Sorry Felix.”

Felix blinked dumbly, eyes drifting away from the fire he was intently watching, “What?” The boys watched him with narrowed eyes, as if they were waiting for a cue. Felix didn’t want to disappoint, clearing his throat loudly, “I mean, who’s Rufio?” The confusion spiraled out into complete and utter disbelief, “W-What?”

“Um, Felix,” Slightly said, anxiously tapping his foot, “Maybe you should get more rest.”

Curly nodded, “Er, yeah. Pan said you might have some amnesia from your accident.”

The thought was irritating. Felix felt fine, despite everyone’s insistence that he needed to sleep, “I’m okay. Really. I feel fine,” He said to no avail, the two boys were committed to sending him back to bed. He sighed heavily, pinching his nose bridge, “Fine. I’ll head back to the treehouse after I’ve stretched my legs.”

Curly gave him a friendly pat, a sweet smile that made Slightly blush again, “That’s good. We just want you to be back to full strength.”

Stretching briefly, Felix stood from the fire, bidding his friends goodbye before making his way back to the treehouse. He strayed off the main path, following a usual patrol route, resigning himself to recovery before he ran upon two familiar faces.

“Wha…Felix!” Nibs shouted, expression wide and joyful, “You’re back!”

Tootles addressed Felix with a curt nod before stepping around him, several dead rabbits dangling from his right hand. Nibs watched him curiously, humming in acknowledgement, “No offense. He just wants to get those rabbits to the little ones before Curly rips him a new one.”

“None taken,” Felix responded, waving off the older boy before looking back to Nibs, “How has it been?”

Nibs shrugged, “Oh, the usual,” He leaned in, hand up in a secretive gesture, “How are you holding up?”

Felix leaned in to match him, simply playing along, “I feel pretty good actually.”

“Really?” Nibs leaned in closer, “You don’t have to pretend,” He whispered for the first time, “We know about that fight you had with Pan.”

The pain was back, this time like a punch to the gut. Felix curled over, hands flying over his mouth, fighting the urge to heave. Nibs rushed to him, grabbing his arm, “H-Hey. Are you alright?” His hands were over his shoulders, “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. If you don’t want to go back to Pan’s, that’s alright! I’ll find you a hut or something on the eastern camp, or something.”

 _I don’t know what you’re talking about_. Yet, the longer Nibs comforted him, the worse the pain got, the more vivid his phantom wounds became. He pulled away, taking a deep breath, looking like a man possessed, “When?”

“When what?” Nibs said, shocked, but keeping his calm.

“When did this happen?” Felix said, fighting through the nausea.

Nibs shrugged, “Like, a week ago? Before you got into that accident,” He said, detailing what he saw, where he saw it. Felix took a deep breath, calming himself down before breaking away and following Nibs’s instructions.

_“You had a fight at the Southern Coast, by the shale cliffs. I wanted to stop him, but Tootles said I’d get hurt. We went back to camp to get help, but by the time we returned, you and Pan were gone.”_

_This fight_. Pan was hadn’t said anything about this to him. In just moments, Felix had riled himself up, furious that Pan dared to hide this from him like this. Just quickly as it came, the rage died, numbing his limbs with exhaustion. Felix stopped, leaning against a shale rock, clutching at his mouth. The buzzing in his head was growing unbearable. His hand slid against the stone, gaze turning to the ground, seeing bushes and branches crushed underfoot. No doubt about it, this was where Nibs had seen them. Even without his description, the sheer instinct gnawing at Felix’s skull was enough to alert him of this.

The location was not notable, save for obvious footsteps and crushed overgrowth. There was a tussle, no doubt, but it seemed to be contained, simple, _one-sided_. Felix cringed at the thought. Falling to his knees, Felix shoved his hands into the loose dirt, throwing it everywhere as he dug deep, unsure what he was finding but unable to stop.

Felix could hear the footsteps crunching on the dead leaves behind him. Regardless, he couldn’t stop, “What are you doing?” Pan said, folding his arms as Felix turned to look at him, “You should be at the treehouse.”

Nothing. Felix found nothing to prove what had happened. He stood slowly, brushing himself off, “I just wanted to stretch my legs,” Desperate to distract himself, Felix stepped around Peter, stroking absently at a tree, “I feel fine, Pan. I’ve rested enough,” Pan’s hand on his chest was meant to be comforting. Felix growled, gritting his teeth, before tearing away, swatting Pan off, “S-Sorry.”

“Why are you here?” Peter asked, the bite in his tone lost.

 _Nibs said we had a fight._ The words couldn’t escape Felix’s lips, locked away just as he was in the treehouse, “Nibs told me to check this place out. Said it was… not covered in our patrol routes.”

The lie was obvious. Too obvious. Pan acknowledged it anyway, giving him a nod before guiding him away from the clearing, “Go back to camp. Take it easy, alright?”

Felix almost left, almost fell back into line, but as he brushed against a nearby stump, he stopped. A quiet fury filling him. He swallowed, turning around, steeling himself, “What happened, Pan? What happened to me?”

Without hesitation, Peter replied, “You fell from the Mermaid Lagoon cliff. You broke your neck. You almost died,” His hands twitched as he approached Felix, desperate to touch him, hold him, “I expended a lot of magic trying to restore you, memory and all.”

 _Mermaid Lagoon_ ¸ on the opposite side of the island, “Ah,” It was all Felix could muster before breaking away, following the path back to camp before breaking away once more, heading straight to the Mermaid Lagoon.

The pinkish shale of the lagoon was distinct, unique to the island. From afar, he could hear the mermaids flitting about, laughter shrill and full. It was dangerous to approach, but Felix found himself without fear. The buzzing, the numbness, the nausea, Felix could feel nothing as he wandered the fluorescent beach. Only the texture of the shale stone under his fingers was enough to trigger the slightest sting to his flesh.

 _Fell from the Mermaid Lagoon cliff?_ He looked to the highest point, seeing a mermaid perched above, brushing out her hair as another serenaded her. A scoff escaped his lips as he pulled away. Would the mermaids be enjoying themselves so frivolously if the Lost Boy leader met a grim fate here? The return to the Lost Boy camp was utterly grueling, viciously exhausting. Felix nearly collapsed as he wandered down the defined dirt path. His head was swelling with thoughts, filling with heat, threatening to burst. Pan was lying to him. _Or was Nibs lying to him?_ Peter Pan was his king, his god. He’d spent forever with him, at his side. Peter would never hurt him.

 _Maybe I should go back to the Treehouse_. If he called for Pan, surely he would come and bring him home. At the thought, Felix felt himself relax, muscles letting go as he collapsed onto the ground, everything fading to black.

A billowing heat was pulsing against his skin, occasionally becoming red hot before fading into a pleasant warmth. The soft glow of a campfire coaxed Felix’s back to consciousness. He took a slow, even breath, feeling filled and refreshed. He turned away from the fire, breathing out, finding Curly beside him, smiling gently.

“You’re awake,” Curly said, peeling an apple absently, “You want something to eat?”

Felix declined, sitting up slowly, “How did I get here?”

“Rufio found you in the forest while he was hunting. He brought you back here,” Curly said, filling with sadness briefly, “You should visit him sometime. He misses you,” His words sounded like concern but the slightest edge to them proved that they had an ulterior motive. Felix was unreactive, which confirmed Curly’s suspicions, “You really don’t remember him at all.”

Rufio again. Who was Rufio? Felix jerked away, sitting up slowly while focused on the embers in the firepit, “I don’t remember him at all.”

“Maybe you should go see him? It might jog your memory,” Curly suggested, taking out a piece of parchment and scrawling a crude map, “I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to see you. It’s been rough for him since he was exiled.”

Felix flinched at the word, horror stewing in him, “Exiled? Why?”

Curly wouldn’t say. He told him to meet Rufio, jog his memories, _remember._ Felix did just that, leaving the camp, hunting down a peninsula near Mermaid Lagoon. Static filled his vision as he approached, eyes clouding over, Felix slipped into the sand, clutching at his face. He groaned, absently wandering into the makeshift campsite.

A gasp, a cloaked figure ran towards him, “F-Felix?”

Focusing was difficult but Felix fought through it, seeing round, dark eyes looking back at him, the red highlights of his hair vibrant against the shades of stone and forest. Felix stood, using that vibrancy to pull him back into reality, “Rufio?”

The boy smiled back at him, beckoning him into the campsite, “Feeling better? Sorry I couldn’t be there, but, you know, exile and all,” He led Felix over to a mat on the ground, immediately rummaging through a trunk of bottles to produce a beverage, “Haven’t talked to you in a week. How is everything? The boys told me you’ve been sick and—” He turned back, brows furrowing when he saw Felix crumpled over on the mat, “Felix?”

_“My name’s Rufio. Pleasure to meet you all!”_

_“This is my kind of campsite!”_

_“Hey, are you and Pan…you know?”_

_“Felix. I really—” “—Can I tell you—" “Feli—”_

“Felix!” Rufio shouted, hovering over Felix, holding him by the shoulders as the boy convulsed against the mat, foaming at the mouth, “Sh-Shit. Shit!”

The second Rufio released him, like bursting out from water after nearly drowning, Felix woke up with a gasp, the world becoming clear once more. He rolled onto his side, vomiting into the sand, clawing at it desperately as he tried to distance himself.

“Felix?” Rufio said, rushing towards him, kneeling as he watched him carefully, “Hey. Hey. Its okay. Let me get you back to camp. It-It’s going to be okay.”

The images were hazy, like writing on a submerged scroll or trying to decipher the embers of a book, “Rufio…” Felix choked out, rubbing at his head, gnashing his teeth, “It’s because of me. Isn’t it?” Rufio went silent at his words, “I caused Pan to exile you.”

“Felix,” Rufio said, pausing, his face excruciating to look at, “ _You_ exiled me, on Pan’s order. Did you forget?”

 _Yes._ Felix forgot everything, everything about _Rufio,_ “Why? Why did I do it?” Felix asked, cringing as Rufio tore away painfully.

The boy could only sigh, smiling at him sadly, “You tell me,” He crawled forward, taking Felix’s hands in a reassuring gesture, “I’ll bring you back to Pan. You need some rest,” He attempted to stand but stopped, suddenly, the concern in his face disappearing.

Felix’s flesh was no longer rippling with pain that contact with Rufio once gave him. In perfect clarity, Felix was unable to comprehend Rufio’s sudden apprehension, eyes growing darker, teeth baring. He was glued to Felix’s hands, holding them, yet unmoving as the anxiety grew, “What’s wrong?”

“You…you’re not Felix.”

Felix didn’t know how to react to this.

In a second, a golden sword was pointed at his throat. Felix scrambled backwards, getting to his feet, staring at Rufio like a madman, “W-Wh…”

“Who the hell are you?” Rufio said, all his sympathy gone, “Is this some sort of sick joke from Pan?”

“No. No. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Felix shouted back, tensing up as Rufio approached, slashing at him with the gold hued sword, grazing his arm and making him stumble across the beach, “Listen to me!” His hands shook as he took his own dagger.

Like a wild dog, unrestrained, deafened by his rage, Rufio growled at him, “Is it that fun to play with my feelings? _Is it?_ ” He slashed at him again, nearly clipping his cheek, “Get the hell out of here!”

Fleeing madly, feeling the murderous intent, _arrows flying at him,_ Felix ran as quickly as he could. The supernatural ache of his body lessened the further he got, giving him further incentive. He charged into the Lost Boy camp, manic and wild as he crashed into the middle of a couple little ones playing games. They shrieked in terror, fleeing to their senior protectors.

Nibs and Curly were the first to his side, “Felix!” Curly shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders and propping him up, “Hey. What’s going on?” He gasped when blood came off on his hands, “You’re hurt. Come on, let’s get that bandaged up.”

Dragging him back to the campfire, Curly treated the wound with fresh water and bandages while Nibs fed him water slowly, “What the heck happened?” Nibs asked when Felix was sufficiently calmed, his hands no longer shaking as he took the cup of water.

“R-Rufio,” Felix choked on his breath, “He attacked me. Said he didn’t know who I was.”

“Does he have amnesia too?” Nibs said, huffing loudly before Curly smacked him in the chest, “This day is just getting weirder and weirder.”

Finishing his treatment, Curly wrapped a loose cloth around his arm, covering up the slash in his shirt, “All better,” Curly said, smiling, “Come on, let’s get you back to Pan’s treehouse.”

Felix huffed, rubbing at his forehead, “I feel fine.”

“You passed out twice, your heartrate is skyrocketing,” Curly said, touching his wrist absently to check his pulse, “You’re not well. Really.”

Nibs shrugged playfully, smacking Felix on the good arm, “Doctor’s orders. Come on, up you go,” He stood, dragging Felix up with him, “Let’s get you back to Pan,” He said as he shoved Felix forward, waving to Curly before guiding Felix down a narrow, overgrown path.

Huffing loudly, Felix yanked himself away, marching forward, “I thought you’d be the last person to want me near Pan.”

“Why’s that?” Nibs said, following him and subsequently bumping into him when Felix stopped, “Oof, hey!”

Felix turned to him slowly, lip almost quivering, “What did you say?”

Nibs leaned back, eyes narrow, almost comical, “What the heck is going on right now? Am I being punked?”

“The fight. You told me I had a fight with Pan,” Felix said, voice growing desperate as Nibs continued to look confused, “The clearing at the shale cliffs.”

“Sorry, man. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nibs said, patting his shoulders twice, “Come on. Let’s get you some rest,” He tried to push past Felix, finding his leader immovable, “Felix? Let’s go. Onward! Or, you know,” He backed off, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Snarling, Felix charged him, tackling him down, “What the hell is going on?”

Nibs scrambled away, heels digging into the dirt before he nearly flung himself back onto his feet, “Hey man, I don’t know what the heck you’re talking about! Like, seriously! I don’t know anything about a clearing or a fight or whatever the heck it is you’re going on about,” He choked as Felix drew his dagger, “W-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Felix, calm down. Come on!”

“Tell me. What are you hiding from me?” Felix barked, lunging at Nibs, snarling when his arm was suddenly caught in a vice grip and twisted behind him. The spike traveling up his arm and driving in his head was unbearable. He screamed before gasping painfully, “ _Pan_ …”

With his supernatural strength, Pan wrestled Felix onto the ground, pinning him on his stomach. He turned to Nibs, commanding him off. Terrified, Nibs fled, and Felix had never felt such a terrible fear and suffering. Peter’s gaze turned to Felix, twitching when he noticed Felix glazed over. He released him, taking a step back as Felix convulsed and coughed, breaking through the haze once more.

“You’re not well,” Pan said.

“Shut up!” Felix shouted, merely spitting out words a grueling task, “Why did Rufio attack me? Why can’t Nibs remember the fight? Why does it hurt being near you? He crawled forward, forcing himself up on shaky feet as he glared at Peter, “What aren’t you telling me?”

The steeliness of Pan’s ice-cold demeanor was equal parts terrifying and aggravating. He wouldn’t speak, simply staring at Felix with derision, “You’re sick. You need to get better,” Felix was riled up at the words, but Pan shut him down quickly, putting him out with a sleeping spell. 

The heat was unbearable, suffocating. Felix would die if he stayed any longer. He needed to get away, yet, no matter how hard he ran, the fire was everywhere. He gasped, as a beam fell upon him, crushing his limbs and pinning him down, crippling him forever. He screamed for help, begged for someone to save him, but no one came.

Gasping, Felix awoke again, seeing smoke at the edges of his vision. He blinked it away, almost turning towards the fireplace before he noticed the figure hiding on the other side. He stiffened, terror filling him again as he tried to scramble away, finding his wrists and ankles bound to the bed in soft cloth.

“W-What…” He gasped, looking away from Pan, struggling helplessly. His lips were parted, brows knitted in utter confusion, “Peter. What is happening to me?” He squealed when Peter reached for him, flinching away violently and wrenching his arms as he pulled away as far as he could, “Stop! Please!” He threw his head back, electricity rippling through him, his mind conjuring the worst punishments for his lack of memory, “No more. No more. Peter, _Peter_ , stop it,” He took a heaving breath, unable to see Peter’s face through the shadows, “Please. Just tell me what’s going on.”

Peter lowered himself on the bed, letting his soft expression come into view. The kindness was enough to distract Felix from his suffering, “It’ll all make sense soon. I promise. Just please, get some rest.”

 _No._ No more rest. Despite Peter’s reassurance, despite _everyone’s_ reassurance, Felix knew more rest would kill him. He shook his head, continuing to pull at his bonds fruitlessly, doubling his efforts when Peter’s hands shimmered with magic, reaching for him. His thumb meeting his forehead. The pain was back, worse than ever, Felix’s entire body canted upward, eyes clenched tight, screaming hysterically before _vomiting blood all over himself._

Terrified, Peter jerked away his magic dissipating, “No. No. No,” He mumbled out quickly, falling to his knees as Felix collapsed on the bed, limp and helpless, sobbing as blood trickled out of his mouth, “ _Damn it,”_ Jerking away, Peter disappeared into the darkness, green smoke billowing out as he teleported away.

Felix couldn’t move, sobbing hysterically as the pain subsided once more. It was too much to handle, too much to grasp in his mind, so he shut himself down and fell into despair, wailing like a child. In the murky haze, he didn’t notice the boards beside the armchair rattling, didn’t notice them getting pried open from below, one of the Lost Boys coming in.

“Felix?” Tootles said, untying him slowly, “Felix. It’s me.”

Shaking his head, covering his face when his wrists were free, “Stop. No more rest. No more. _No more_ ,” He curled into a ball when all his bonds were completely off, “Go away. Please. _Please_ ,” No more contradictions. No more questions. He couldn’t take anymore.

“Nibs wasn’t lying. A week ago, you did get into a fight with Pan,” Tootles said, firm and comforting. Felix stopped trembling, daring to peek out from under his arms, watching Tootles carefully, “You were shouting at each other, something about Rufio. Then he attacked you. You got away at first, hitting him in the side with your club, but Pan chased after you,” He paused, the vivid images of violence unbearable, “He beat you until you bled. Until you couldn’t move. Nibs wanted to stop him, but I knew he’d just get killed doing it,” He hung his head, “So I stopped him. I made him go back to camp with me, to get help, but it was too late. You were both gone.”

Felix dug his nails into his palm, anything to anchor him to reality, “Rufio… he was exiled because of me,” He swallowed fearfully, tasting blood. He wiped at his chin, staining his shirt with blood, “I wanted to lift his exile.”

“Makes sense,” Tootles said, backing off, folding his arms, “You were talking to him that morning.”

Burying his face in his hands again, Felix panted out his words, “How do you remember? Why can’t Nibs remember?”

“You did rat him out, if you remember,” Tootles said, grumbling, “Pan wiped his memory. Just like he’s wiping your memory now. He’ll probably wipe everyone when he’s done with this. Get back to _status quo_ ,” His smile was awkward and pitiful, “He’ll probably wipe my memory first. What an honour.”

“ _Goddamn it_ ,” Felix choked out, swinging his legs over the bed, unable to lift his face away from his hands, “I need to hide,” Running through his options, the only viable solution he could think of was colluding with the pirates, “Hook. Peter can’t sense what’s on his ship, right?”

Tootles tilted his head, curious, “Yeah. Since its not a part of Neverland.”

Pushing aside his terror, Felix got to his feet, tying on his cloak, unable to find his usual dagger but finding the one in his boot untouched, “That’s where I’m going. I’m not letting Peter have his way with me.”

“Hm.”

Felix paused at the perplexing reaction. He looked to Tootles, absently adjusting his clothes and equipment, “What is it?”

“Never seen you so bitter against Pan,” Tootles said, kicking up the loose boards he had broken through to enter, “Try not to get yourself killed, alright?”

It wasn’t seasickness. Felix had never gotten seasick during his interactions on the sea, yet his stomach curled and twisted as him and Tootles rowed over to Hook’s ship, “Hey,” Tootles said, continuing to row while Felix crumpled where he sat, “You okay?”

Felix couldn’t manage words, so he simply nodded back. Tootles shrugged, reaching out to the hull of the ship and striking it twice, calling the attention of the pirates. He took hold of the rope bridge they lowered, offering to Felix first. Affixing his hood, Felix climbed up the ladder, tripping over the side of the ship as he boarded and tumbling onto the ground ungracefully. The pirates were chuckling, but Felix paid them no mind. This ship was nauseating to be upon, churning his stomach and mind.

Tootles followed after, watching Felix awkwardly before speaking up, removing his hood and scarf, “Anyway. We’re here to speak with Hook.”

Felix followed suit, removing his hood, and all the pirates _reeled back in horror._

“Oh shit, oh shit!” One shouted, tripping over barrels as he screamed in terror, “Captain! Smee!”

The portly man came forward, dusting off his red hat, “What is it—” He looked up, jaw locking in a look of terror, “H-Holy shit!” He drew his cutlass immediately, prompting everything to draw their weapon, but no one dared draw near.

Tootles drew his own cutlass, nudging Felix who reflexively reached for his club and damning himself for not arming properly, “You piss off some pirates lately?”

“Not that I remember,” Felix said, pursing his lips. Was this another thing Pan wiped from his memory? What was once confusion was quickly replaced with frustration, “What happened? What did I do? Pan wiped my memory.”

Smee’s blade was shaking violently, his face ghostly white, teeth chattering too hard to respond. A hook landed on his shoulder, pulling him behind a tall, handsome pirate captain with a steeled look in his eyes, shrouding his fear with bravado, “He did more than wipe your memory.”

“What are you talking about?” Felix said, stepping past Tootles, ignoring the cutlasses pointed right at him, “What happened to me?” Hook tensed up as he approached as if the mere sight of Felix was enough to kill him, like his mere presence cursed his ship. He couldn’t speak, tearing away with unspeakable emotions, “ _Tell me!_ ” Felix shouted, voice breaking, so desperate.

A cutlass clattered to the ground, “Oh. Oh shit,” Tootles muttered, backing into a wooden crate, face twisted in grief and guilt, utterly uncharacteristic of the usual boy, “ _Oh shit._ I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” He fell to his knees, gripping into his head, “This is my fault. This is all my fault. _I shouldn’t have run._ ”

_He beat you until you bled. Until you couldn’t move._

Felix turned back to Hook, too many emotions gripping at him, tearing at him, so he settled on anger and charged at the pirate captain. He took him by the collar, shoving him into the wooden walls of his ship, “No. No. You’re lying!”

_Nibs wanted to stop him, but I knew he’d just get killed doing it_

The nausea was getting worse. Felix knew he’d throw up again. He feared that it would be blood. Hook kept his eyes shut, collecting himself, knowing that Felix deserved the truth.

_So I stopped him. I made him go back to camp with me, to get help_

When Hook opened his eyes again, the startlingly beautiful blue enraptured Felix, he put his fear aside, replaced with careful _resignation_. He opened his lips, speaking words that made Felix chill to the core.

_But it was too late._

Felix released Hook’s collar, fingers clammy, shaking, backing up in horror, “No, no, no, no,” He mumbled out repeatedly, voice whining, breaking, not his own, “You’re lying. _You’re lying_ ,” He whined loudly, squealing like a dying animal, burying his nails into his hair as he screamed his voice hoarse, “Please tell me you’re lying.”

The nausea finally left him, replaced with a sharp pitched sound ringing in his head. Felix sat there, world focusing in slowly, ears nearly bleeding. It took him a good minute before he realized _Peter Pan was on this ship._

“Stop!” Tootles shouted, charging at Pan only to be swatted away effortlessly, crashing into the floor next to Felix, the impact shaking Felix from his stupor. Tootles crawled forward, coughing out a spot of blood, “Run!” He shouted to him.

Breaking from his paralysis, Felix bolted for the edge of the ship, screaming when a hand fisted itself into his cloak. The next second, a shallow slice was on his back. Felix stumbled forward, daring to turn, seeing Hook slicing his cloak free from Pan’s grip. His enemy, the blasted pirate with the handsome face, was his saviour, for even just a second. Pan kicked him in the stomach, crumpling Hook instantly before hurling him overboard.

Felix charged past the rope ladder, throwing himself over the side, desperately waiting for the ocean water to swallow him and erase all his pain. _It never came_. He was enveloped in green smoke that tasted like poison and dirt, lifted well above the ship, basking in moonlight that made Pan look like a demon. He shoved at Pan’s face, fighting the terrible agony it brought him, desperate to break out from Pan’s arms.

Out of reflex, Felix reached for the blade hidden in his boot, unsheathing it, lifting it into the sky, and freezing at the sight of it: _A golden blade_ , a companion to another. Felix stuttered, fingers trembling, finally understanding everything that had led him to this moment.

A volt of magic coursed through him, painting the sky bright green, and then everything stopped.

_“Peter gave us your body to bury at sea. Felix, I’m sorry.”_

Too hot. _Too hot_. His skin was crisping; his flesh was melting away. Like the cuts of wildebeest he watched the royal chef cook over the stone oven, like the bonfire his brother would make every time they went on a camping trip, Felix was nothing but cooked meat. _Nothing at all_. He was set ablaze, screaming, suffocating.

Felix screamed as he awoke, back in bed, back in that wretched treehouse, bound to the bed by his wrists and ankles. Pan was hovering over him, hands glowing, _scraping through his mind_. He jerked away when Felix woke up, watching cautiously as Felix soaked the bed in sweat, panting hoarsely, staring at Pan, begging for mercy with his eyes.

Pan huffed, bravado filling him, his _concern_ just an illusion, “I don’t know how you keep waking up.”

“What are you doing to me?” Felix choked out, jerking at his wrists. Hook’s words repeated in his head. Felix whimpered, shutting his eyes, “What am I? What did Hook mean?”

Peter approached him once more, sitting on the bed, hands drifting through his hair, ignoring how Felix cringed, “You’re Felix. That’s all.”

“No, _no_ , you’re lying,” Felix said, gasping when Peter glided a hand down his torso, leaving white hot pain meant to be comfort, “Stop it. _Stop!_ ” Tears were hot in his eyes. Peter noticed immediately, reaching up to brush them away before Felix’s gaze hardened into a glare, “Did you kill Felix?”

Pan froze, hand still, expression shaded and unreadable.

“You did. Didn’t you?” Felix said, gritting his teeth, waiting for Pan to put him out and continue whatever he was planning, “You killed him because he was getting to close to Rufio. You sick bastard—” The shock stunned him more than the _golden dagger_ plunging itself into the pillow, right beside his ear. His mouth was locked open, letting out stuttering, nervous laughter, “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Peter lifted the dagger, backing away from Felix, turning towards the fire. He studied it carefully, running his finger against the blade before tossing it into the fire, watching the dagger turn molten and bright, casting off beautiful sparks.

“I didn’t mean to,” Peter murmured, hypnotized by the sparks swirling in the air.

_“P-Peter…Peter. Peter!” Felix’s sobbing, whiny voice was grating on him. Peter pulled away, cleaning the blood off his hands with magic. He made his point. He punished Felix for his disloyalty. It was done. Peter could leave. He’d go back to camp, play with the boys, wait for Felix to return to his perch, and then everything would be back to normal, back to the way it was before Rufio came into the picture._

_He was almost gone, then Felix said that wretched name,_ pleaded for it _¸ like it would give him all the joy in the world, like it would take away all his pain._

Perhaps Felix hadn’t learned his lesson.

 _“Shut up!” Peter shouted, climbing onto Felix’s chest, wrapping his hands around his neck and squeezing tight, shutting him up, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” He was shouting, snarling, looking and feeling like a wild beast. Not a sound came from Felix’s mouth, just spittle. His eyes were turning red, dilating, desperate. He was clawing at Peter, the dirt, digging his heels to no avail. Peter would not let up, would_ never _let up. Not until Felix learned his lesson, “Shut up!”_

**_SNAP_ **

_…_

_…_

_“…Felix?”_

“I did this,” Peter whispered, clutching at his chest, hating the pain, “ _I did this._ That’s why I must make it right,” He went back to Felix’s side, shrouding himself back in shadows, “This would be easier if you’d stop waking up.”

Felix trembled again, drawing himself away, whimpering, “ _No._ Please,” He squeezed his eyes shut when Pan reached for his head once more, his heart threatening to explode, “Felix wouldn’t—”

Pan paused, humming curiously, “What was that?”

Calming himself, fighting his furious heartbeat, Felix opened his eyes and spoke, “Felix wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want you to replace him.”

“You _are_ Felix,” Pan said.

“You know I’m not,” Felix hissed out, groaning louder as Pan’s hand drifted over his face, stroking it lightly, tracing the scar on his cheek, “You know that. You know I’m not Felix,” His words appeared to work, Pan backing off, “Who am I?”

“You’re Felix,” Peter said, adamant, firm, yet quivering all over, “You’re my Felix.”

“ _Stop_. You know that’s not true,” Felix replied, sliding up, propping himself on his elbows, despite being bound, “Who am I? Please,” Noticing Pan’s wavering resolve, Felix switched his tone, “Please, I just want to know. Before I become your Felix,” Peter’s eyes met his, suddenly soft, curious, “Peter. I’m begging you.”

The magical boy huffed, his hands once again ceasing their glow. He sat down on the edge of the bed, “You’re _Felix_ , from another world. We live in a multiverse and there are different versions of us everywhere,” Peter flexed his hands, staring into the fire, losing himself, “You were a prince. I took you from your kingdom and brought you here.”

“What about the kingdom? What happened to them?” Felix said, seeing the flames licking Pan’s eyes as he turned.

Pan’s lips turned up, the flickering light of the fire highlighting his beautiful and terrible visage, “It doesn’t matter,” He stroked at Felix’s hair, petting him like a cat, “All that matters now is that you’re here.”

Twisting away as the terror took hold of him, Felix’s mind was beginning to spin again, lose control, he stuttered his words out, anything to distract Peter, “What happened to Tootles?” Pan’s hand stopped once more, encouraging Felix, “What happened to Hook?”

“They’re fine. I put them to sleep,” Peter said, “With the same spell I used on you. They won’t interrupt this time.”

“Are you going to wipe their memories too?” Felix choked out.

Peter’s seemingly sweet expression dripped away into malice, shutting Felix up, “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to distract me from this,” He took Felix by the jaw, forcing his head back, holding him still while his body rippled and convulsed with pain, “I won’t stop. I’ll never stop. Not until I make this right. And you—” He loosened for just a second as blood dripped from the side of Felix’s mouth, running over the trench of his scar, falling into his eyes. He released him, startled as Felix turned his head and spat up blood _again_ , coughing violently, dying in front of Peter’s eyes.

Peter stopped, smiled, and began to laugh. There was no sound more terrifying in this entire multiverse.

“W-Wh…” Felix struggled out, his condition silencing him. Even without his suffering, his fear would’ve shut him up just as well.

“You’re there. Aren’t you, Felix?” Peter said, creeping over Felix’s body, tilting his head playfully, “That’s why you keep waking up. That’s why…” He grabbed Felix’s head with both hands on either side, relishing when Felix twisted himself up and screamed his throat raw. Bloody tears were coming out from his eyes, squeezing out and soaking his hair, “It pains you to be near me. _You’re killing him to stop me._ You’re spiting me, even now. Even when I’m trying to fix things.”

Felix coughed up another mouthful of blood, throwing up all over Pan’s shoulder, but the menace didn’t care, simply smiling wildly, lovingly, stroking his face like a lover would, “If anything, it makes me want you more, knowing that _you’re in there_ ,” He chuckled, pressing his face close, “Not just your heart.”

 _What?_ Felix had no time to contemplate what he said as Peter kissed him. He saw nothing but the back of his eyelids, eyes rolling backwards, the world shutting down like he was _stabbed through the heart_. A golden blade piercing him, a voice crying out desperately as it stabbed him repeatedly, shouting _apologies_ with every strike. In his delirium, Felix could see him, a boy with his face, golden blade in hand, perched over him stabbing him in the chest in time with his rapid heartbeat. He was begging for this to end, begging for forgiveness, his voice drowned out by his drumming _heart_.

The pain stopped, suddenly, making Felix’s head spin. Pan had lifted himself sitting back at the edge of the bed, staring at him lovingly. He glared at Pan, through blood and tears, he shouted, “You-You put his heart in me. _Felix’s heart,_ ” The pain of being near Peter Pan, being near Rufio, they were blocks to protect his successor from a miserable fate. Felix would rather _kill_ than let someone take his place and suffer his agony.

“It’s the only way your memories would take,” Peter said, lips touching his as he spoke. He lowered himself with a sigh, pressing his cheek against Felix’s chest, relishing that rapid drumming, “Soon. Felix. Soon. I’ll make it all better,” His voice darkened, eyes drawing up, peering past Felix’s visage, into his soul, _into the real Felix’s soul_ , “You can’t stop me.”

Bloody tears fell from Felix’s cheeks, vision glazing over, Felix threw his head back, running out of ideas, running out of hope. In his delirium induced by near death, Felix could make out _words_ with each pang of his rapid heartbeat. _Hate Peter. Save you. No more pain. Get away. I regret._ _So sorry_. Felix was speaking to him, so desperate to get him away, but it was…was… _wait._

Felix’s eyes snapped open, the last bloody drop of tears falling away, “I can hear him.”

The weight lifted itself immediately, as did the spike driving through his chest. Peter hovered over him, shaking, sweating, “What?”

“I can hear Felix. He’s speaking to me,” Felix spoke, voice low and dry, recognizably monotone, “He’s telling me,” He swallowed the blood filling his palette, cleaning it off his teeth, “He’s telling me he _still loves you_ ,” He smiled drearily, the tiniest lift on the sides of his mouth, watching Pan like he was everything in his world, “He’s begging you. He wants to hold you again,” He flexed his wrists twice, “Please. It’ll make all the pain go away.”

The cloth bonds fell away, shredding themselves into thread and sinew. Felix lunged forward the moment he was free, groping at Peter lovingly, tackling him off the bed and onto the floor, into the light of the fireplace. He crushed him in his grasp, burrowing into Peter, breathing him in, sighing, _happy_ , as he pressed him against the side of the armchair.

Peter sighed, the iciness in his posture and visage dissipating, his unfeeling shadows washed away by golden light. He hooked one hand under his shoulder, gripping onto the back of his neck while the other wrapped around his narrow waist, making his spine arch sweetly. Peter chuckled, smearing kisses along Felix’s neck.

“He wants to see you,” Felix whispered into Peter’s ear, “Let him out. _Please_ ,” He sunk into Peter’s embrace, “Let me out.”

Felix’s heart stopped, anxious, in perfect synchronicity, two minds together as one. Peter obliged, high on love, on getting everything he wanted, plunging a hand into Felix’s chest, magically yanking out his heart, hypnotized by the ruby glow. _His Lost Boy_ , pure and innocent, the light of his all-encompassing love purifying him.

“Felix, can you still hear him?” Peter said, his eyes gliding up, smile dropping immediately as Felix pried the loose board by the armchair off the ground and struck Peter across the eyes. He howled in pain, dropping Felix’s heart, falling to the ground.

The face Felix had, nothing but malice, face twisted and teeth bared, was utterly unlike anything _Felix_ would put on, “You killed them!” He howled, voice dark and twisted, striking Pan again, relishing how the boy was too stunned to react, “My brother. My father. You burned them to death!” All to claim his prize, to prevent anyone from taking Felix back, Peter Pan set the kingdom on fire and forced Felix to watch, forced him to give up hope before filling him with foreign memories, “All for what? To fix your mistake? Felix doesn’t want you. He doesn’t love you anymore, you psychopathic bastard!” 

Not enough, not nearly enough, he wanted Peter Pan to lose it all, just like what he did to everyone. Dropping the plank of wood, Felix took the pulsating heart, marching towards the fire, _that wretched fire_. Felix didn’t care what would happen to him; he just wanted to make Pan suffer.

Peter snarled unintelligibly as he tackled Felix down, the cut on his brow sealing up supernaturally fast. Felix cringed at the sight, shoving at Peter’s face as he reached for the fire with Felix’s heart. His fingertips were searing hot, but it wasn’t enough. Pan had taken hold of his wrist, desperate to save what was left of his Felix. It was the only thing that mattered in the world right now.

Ripping at his forest tunic, biting on his cheek, Felix fought like a beast, screaming and lashing out, unwilling to stop even as he was beaten into submission. With his free hand, he reached straight into the embers, crying out in pain as he yanked out the _molten dagger_ , plunging it into Peter’s side, both screeching in pain.

Felix nearly threw up at the sight of Pan’s flesh _glowing,_ molten gold hue bleeding through his translucent flesh. He turned himself over, nursing his thoroughly cooked hand, flesh swollen and pulpy. He had only a moment, his good hand immediately taking Felix’s heart once more. He gave Peter just a harsh glare before _throwing Felix’s heart into the fire._

“No!” Peter shouted, gasping in pain, sobbing pathetically as Felix’s heart shrivelled away into ash, consumed by the fire and releasing bright red sparks, “Felix!” He cried out, clutching at his face, “I’m sorry. _I’m sorry,”_ He yanked out the dagger, his flesh blackened around it. Neverland’s magic rippled through the air, shaking Felix till he collapsed on the ground, Pan’s wound _sealing_ magically, all damage against him undone, “ _You,_ ” Peter growled, standing up, putting out the fire and casting everything into the darkness. The crackle of magic upon his flesh was the only thing visible in the room.

Felix didn’t care, wiping away the blood on his face with his sleeve, bending over and laughing hysterically, “Do as you must,” Felix barked out, smooth, utterly confident, utterly _unlike Felix_ , “You’ll never have Felix again.”

The crackle of magic stopped, the pressure in the air disappearing. Felix stiffened in the total darkness, eyes darting around helplessly. He stood shakily, like the ground was rippling under him, “…Pan?” He muttered, groping the darkness, desperate to escape. He nearly spoke out again, before a hand clasped over his mouth, squeezing his jaw tight till it _cracked_ , an arm hooking around his neck and yanking him backwards into the abyss.

“So, I really don’t think we need this patrol path anymore,” Slightly said, tracing over the dirt path, “Like, does anyone even go near the shale cliffs?”

Tootles shrugged, unscrewing his flask and taking a swig, “I guess. Nibs isn’t going to like it though. That’s where all the pumpkin patches are.”

“Nibs can get pumpkins on his own time anyway,” Slightly responded, lifting his head suddenly, smirking, “Hey, Felix is back! Felix!” He waved their leader over, gesturing towards the map, “Shale cliffs patrol route. Yes or no?”

Felix pondered briefly, tilting his head back, “Nibs won’t be happy about that.”

Slightly scoffed, tossing himself backwards onto his log, “It’s always about Nibs, Nibs, Nibs. What’s up with everyone and Nibs?”

“It’s because,” Nibs said, somehow materializing himself on the log beside him, one arm swung over his shoulders, “I’m incredibly charming. I mean,” His grin stretched across his face, toothy and sly, “Just ask Curly.”

Instantaneously, Slightly tackled Nibs down, the two initiating a short-notice sparring match while the boys rushed over to cheer them on. Tootles shook his head in disapproval, putting his flask away and stepping over the map, “What brings you to camp?” Tootles asked Felix, following him back to the main campfire, “You’ve been glued to Pan for weeks now.”

“He wanted to eat black truffles. We ran out of stock at the treehouse,” Felix said as he sorted through the supplies, “Thought we might have some here.”

Tootles hummed, sorting through a nearby trunk and producing two chunks of black truffles, “Here. Slightly found these yesterday. Wanted to make some truffle oil for Curly, but I’m sure he can find more.”

Felix nodded back, rolling the coal-like lumps in his hands, catching the earthy scent as it rubbed onto his fingers, “Thanks,” He said, tossing them into a burlap sack before marching past Tootles. He paused when he felt a hand on his shoulder, firm, reassuring in ways he wasn’t sure.

“Is everything alright with you and Pan?” Tootles asked, “You’re both more distant than usual.”

“Yeah. Everything is fine,” Felix said, smiling brightly, “Don’t worry about it.”

Tootles wouldn’t let go. He had no idea why, but he felt obligated to check in, “Let the boys know if something’s up. Right away. Alright?” He released Felix, disappointed when the boy left wordlessly, “And pay Rufio a visit! He misses you.”

Tootles’s words were lost in moment. Felix was concentrated on the burlap sack in his hands, on the weight of the luscious black truffles in them. He flushed at the thought of cooking for Peter. _What an honour._ He climbed up the ladder into the treehouse, spotting Peter by the window, looking over the forest, humming a song to himself.

Felix cleared his throat loudly, calling Peter’s lovely gaze towards him, “I’m back.”

“Got the truffles?” Pan said, sauntering over to him till they were chest-to-chest, lifting one hand, “Come over here,” He cooed, smirking wildly as Felix leaned in, lowering for a kiss. Peter held his lips firmly with his own, entranced by the taste of earth and fruit, “Good,” He shivered lustfully as Felix wrapped his arms around his shoulders, kissing deeper, walking him backwards until they hit the bed. Peter’s smile only grew, staring at Felix’s lovestruck expression, “What’s with that look?”

Felix cooed into his neck, nuzzling it lazily, “ _Peter_ ,” He whispered out his name, sighing, chuckling, “I don’t know how to cook with truffles.”

“Is that all?” Peter said, snickering as he pinched Felix’s cheek, “Let me show you.”

With a snap of his fingers, Peter conjured a wood oven where the fireplace once was, a table materializing with cooking implements. He walked Felix over, taking out a cutting board and a fine, thin knife, “Truffles are very strong, so its recommended to just use shavings,” Peter explained, playfully spinning the knife in his hand before magically summoning one truffle into his hand from the burlap sack and placing it on the cutting board, gracefully slicing off paper thin slivers, “Just like this.”

Felix watched in awe, fighting to concentrate on Peter’s dextrous hands instead of his lovely face. Pan caught his gaze, his concentration melting into lovesickness. He handed Felix the knife, stroking his cheek lightly, “Your turn.”

Felix nodded, taking the truffle in his other hand, curling his fingers to protect them from the blade, and promptly _stabbing Pan in the throat._ With supernatural reflexes, Pan caught the blade. Blood was drawn from the knife, a narrow stream trickling down his arm and onto the cutting board, coating the pitch-black truffle.

“Kill… you…” Felix choked out through clenched teeth, whole body trembling, immovable, but not paralyzed by magic.

“Oh?” Peter mused, “Still misbehaving, Felix?” He twisted the blade, digging it deeper, drawing more blood, but instead of Peter getting the brunt of it, the slight movement forced Felix onto the ground. They both knew drawing Peter’s blood was a pointless endeavor. Peter was a _god_. He hammered this into Felix plenty of times before; he was happy to do it again.

Felix spat at him, feeling crushed by the pressure of Neverland bearing down upon him, “I’ll kill you. I’ll kill…I’ll kill,” He choked out, squealing, squirming, _then smiling,_ “I’ll kill you, _Peter_.”

Eyes flaring with lust, becoming needy and weak, Peter fell to his knees as well, encircling Felix’s face with bloodied hands, moaning as he stained Felix’s beautiful lips with blood, “Will you?” The fire of the wood oven snuffed itself out, window shutters slamming closed, the room shrouded in darkness as Peter whispered into Felix’s ear, “How shall I punish you today?”

Felix broke out into mindless, tortured laughter.


End file.
